Feeling inspired. :)

The other day, a few friends and myself were talking about the gift of giving.  It was a lovely discussion which left a smile lingering on my heart as a reminder of why it is that I love giving so very much.

We also discussed the gift of learning to receive and how humbling that can be.  We all agreed that both the act of giving and also receiving are tremendous gifts that lead to beautiful spiritual evolution.

I got to thinking about how since I left Los Angeles, I have had fewer opportunities to give and spread sunshine… and I felt sad about that.

Anyhoo, I think due to being back in Bend and needing the authentic kindness of friends, acquaintances and strangers for shelter, sometimes food, money, transportation and all basic needs has left me very much in the position of learning to receive and see myself as worthy through the eyes of the divine.

Now that I am taking small steps to help abundance find me and see myself as worthy and safe within the warm embrace of my friends kindness, I have finally received the gift I have been trying to give myself for about 2.5 years now.

You see a few years ago, someone very important in my life sent a portion of some monthly earnings stating that her spiritual practice was to give 10% of her monthly income to someone who inspires her… and for one month that person was me.

I cannot even describe the joy I felt in receiving that gift.  I grew up in terribly dysfunctional circumstances and never once in my whole life had someone acknowledged me as an inspiration… someone of value.

I’ve always wanted to have the means to commit to that sort of giving, but haven’t ever had the regular income to do so..

And today, I was paid the small amount of unemployment I receive each week and made a commitment to give 10% a week to someone who inspires me.

And with the help of setting an intention this morning, I found a homeless man who helped me find my bus… and when I thanked him I handed him some cash.

He looked shocked… it was sort of a big tip from a little girl with a broken purse…

But in the end, he did inspire me with his kindness and I was so happy to finally be able to pay forward some of what has been given to me and begin to consciously create the life I see myself living.

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