It’s nice being home. So far, I’ve enjoyed LOTS of sleep. This morning, my temporary room mate said, “I am completely impressed by your ability to sleep.”…. Yeah, I sleep a lot. I suppose after the two year ride of “intense and accelerated character building,” followed by the recent grand finale of my learning and growing extravaganza, I’m worn out, and I have A LOT of catching up to do in the sleep department.
And anyway, besides sleeping life has been quite simple. I take a few long walks each day and I must admit that I fully enjoy being back in the desert air. I love the not so oppressive flow of clean mountain yumminess and how quiet everything is – even downtown. I’ve casually strolled by all of my old houses and apartments, taking time to reflect on who I was when I lived there as opposed to who I am now, and experience gratitude for what I used to have and how much more I appreciate what I am building right now.
When passing one of the houses, I took a few seconds to laugh out loud as I saw two bikes an old room-mate and I left behind a few years ago. ”Good,” I thought…. I mean, they were really cool bikes, and I’m glad they are being appreciated.
The other day, I was so touched as one of my favorite people here in Bend stopped her car, got out and yelled “LINDSEY! IS THAT YOU?” (My legal name is still Lindsey) and we had a sweet reunion in the middle of the day, in the road and I was so happy to see her since when I left the house that morning I was thinking of how I would get in touch with that very person. (Love the power of intention).
My big adventure today was taking a long walk along the Deschutes River with an old friend and I must admit it was nice to see her face, experience her cozy/familiar energy and absorb the breathtaking scenery that makes Central Oregon so wonderful.
I find myself kind of laughing when sometimes I ask myself why I ever left in the first place. I mean, obviously I know everything happens for a reason and I’m sure the evolution my path brought about was necessary … but still, it’s kind of funny. I am basically in the same exact position I was in when I left. I need to find a job in a very difficult place to find work. You know what though? I know I will find work. I simply know it and I’m not even a little worried about it.
I’ve even started looking for different places to live. There is a Buddhist community here in town looking for someone to do light work in exchange for a place to live, and there is a non-profit looking for a live-in worker too which only expects a few hours of work a week so that I would be able to find another solid job… Either one of those options sound GREAT to me and maybe that means if I can get a job quickly, just maybe I can afford that little trip to Nepal in late October. I hope, I hope.
Anyway, whatever happens I know it will be just perfect and for right now I am completely happy to be in a safe place surrounded by people I trust and a community that has loved me very well throughout the years.
I’m excited for more walks, more reunions, new acquaintances, and a birthday full of food, laughter, wine and being HOME.
People ask if I will continue my journey.
Here is my answer: Yes. However, right now I need to revise how I will go about it and I’ve realized that the greatest gift I can give myself is setting up a solid and safe home base.