I haven’t gone to the post office in I don’t know how long now. I think it’s been at least six weeks or maybe since before Christmas. I’ve been avoiding the Post Office because I know there are bills that I cannot pay waiting in my teeny tiny slot for correspondence with the “official/corporate” world. Each time I think to go, I think “What’s the point?” I mean, I know I owe people money…. I know their gonna send me to collections…. My phone bill is super behind, so it is turned off and I cannot spend the hours it would take to talk to ALL of the creditors in order to explain anything or work ANYTHING out… so I avoid it.
Is this the best course of action? Who knows. I do know that around Christmas I did call them all (except one) and after a total of threeish hours on the phone, I decided I needed a break till after the holidays to call one more.
Apparently money doesn’t grow on trees and I have these big huge ideals that I actually do believe in and choose to live in accordance with… so, until I figure out how to tame this snaky path of mine and everything sort of falls into place, I’ve learned that it’s best just to go one day at a time and to be in the moment, because the stress this kind of conundrum induces is just plain not worth it.
Anyway, now that the big Valentines Rush has died down in the flower business, I am back to seriously living on the edge on a wage of forty to eighty dollars a week. Today when I got paid, it was a bit of a shock and I got to thinking, “How was I doing this before?”
I worked myself into a bit of a mood thinking about how to stretch sixty dollars between all the necessities and laundry detergent (I suddenly became hyper conscious of how EXPENSIVE that stuff is…. (SHEESH!). I also decided it was time to at least clear some room in my mailbox as well. Going to look at the bills I cannot pay actually felt like a relief over thinking of everything else.
As I pulled my mail out of a packed solid box, I thought about how nice it would be to get some sort of a miracle in the MASS of stuff I cannot fix right now….
And I got two of them.
Back at my last dental appointment, I self addressed a cleaning reminder card (which I cannot afford now) to myself and what it said was, “You are so AWESOME and I LOVE YOU! YOU are a miracle! When I saw that stand out in the table full of chaos I was trying to organize, I said a silent “Thank you past self… How did you know I would need that?”
Then there was an actual card addressed to me with a date stamp of January 16 with no return address. “Hm”, I thought… “this must be something nice.” I opened it and found a colorful card of multi-colored hearts with the words “You are a STAR! LOVE.” No one signed it… and there was a small gift certificate to whole foods enclosed. Yay! I don’t know who it was, but I got it right when I needed it, so maybe it was a good thing that I didn’t go to the post office until today.
Now I can buy laundry detergent AND food for a few days.
I don’t know who did it, but THANK YOU!